My Favourite Halloween Memories

by Jacey on October 31, 2015

pumpkin canon
When you think of halloween you probably think of candy, scary movies and dressing up. But what is halloween really about? Competition obviously. Who scared who, who’s wearing the best/worst/sluttiest costume, and who got the most candy. I grew up in the country, so halloween meant my mom packing me and my four brothers and sisters into our minivan to drive us from house to house to collect the goods. Because there weren’t a lot of kids stopping at these houses, they were often pretty generous with their contributions towards my future diabetes. The end of the night always resulted in a giant candy weigh off to see who milked their smiles the best. Here are a few things I remember the most about those nights:

1. I always liked to give myself a bit of a head-start for the night. Nobody likes to see an empty bucket. So I’d pilfer a handful of chocolate bars to give myself a bit of a head start. Stealing from my own family’s bowl. Oh the shame.

2. We liked to use a two bucket or bag system. We’d use a small bucket or bag for the door to door work, but when that started to look a little too bountiful, you needed somewhere to stash your goods. This is where bag number two came into play. An empty pillowcase hung from the back of the bucket seats of a minivan was the perfect spot to stash your overflow.

3. This system counted on the commitment of all of us to the greater good (that being more candy for everyone). You needed to present a unified front. If one person dumped you all had to dump. You couldn’t head up to the door with three pathetic looking chocolate bars while Connor’s bucket was overflowing. It was a delicate balance between working together and getting all the Reese Peanut Butter Cups before anyone else did. .

4. Running to the bathroom to weigh your bag was top of the priority list when you got home.

5. Each of us would then stake out our own area of living room carpet where we were free to dump and sort our loot. At this point, the New York Stock Exchange of Candy went down. There are about 15 years worth of Tootsie Rolls in a landfill somewhere as more often than not, they weren’t wanted by anyone. Who even likes those things?!

6. The last thing I think of when I think of Halloween actually occurs approximately one month after halloween when you throw out:
1.The rotting apple that your good intentioned neighbour gave you that has been living in it’s own ethylene prison at the bottom of your pillow case.
2. Any remaining candy which now gives off the unmistakable smell of over-ripe apple.
3. Possibly your pillow case.

What are your favourite halloween memories?

P.S. A big happy birthday to Mr Pumpkin Canon himself and my favourite joke factory. Love you long time Calder and Dad!


Posts About Nothing – Vol. 29

by Jacey on October 23, 2015

smiling baby1.Babies. What else is new.

2. The rumours about Will Smith possibly going on tour have me in a tizzy. Will has gotten Hollis and I through many a sleep deprived Thanksgiving and Christmas rushes. Who’s ready to get jiggy with me.

3. Last week at 8 AM I ate a day old eclair that had been sitting on my desk all night. I literally have no shame.

4. I am addicted to neapolitan pizza. Like, I have a problem, addicted. Dublin probably isn’t the first or even second place you think of for good neapolitan pizza, but a friend took us to a place when we were there and I just died. All the fresh sauce, thin chewy crust and hunks of mozzarella. All pizza should taste like that. Out of the 6 meals we had to eat in Dublin, three of them were from that pizza place. Addictssssss.

5. I ordered a mozzarella making kit online. It was soooooooooo good. So good. How will I ever eat normal mozza again.

6. Halloween is almost here and I have the pockets full of mini wrappers to prove it. Is it just me or do the candies get smaller every year? WTF. I actually just googled “are mini chocolate bars getting smaller” because it’s these types of questions that keep me from sleeping at night. Am I child of the internet generation or what.

7. In need of a good laugh? Please read this post about the hierarchy of halloween candy. I read it every year and it never gets old. You will ACTUALLY laugh out loud. Pure genius.

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6 Things I am Thankful for in 2015

by Jacey on October 15, 2015

georgia and meyer thanksgivingAnother Thanksgiving has come and gone already. Wtf 2015. Where are you going?!

What follows is a list of things I am thankful for this year.

1. A body that puts up with me taking moderately good care of it.

2. A husband that takes care of the mice, lets me watch The Bachelor, cheers me on at rugby games, and is happy when I tell him it’s a “cereal for dinner” kind of night.
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croissantsIt’s kind of hard to believe that fall is on its way when every time I go outside I feel like I am running through a bathroom with the shower running . So. Damn. Humid. Though the temperatures and humidity are leading me to believe otherwise, somehow we are well into the month of September. Giant yellow buses are flooding the streets, grocery store shelves are chock full of halloween candy and I am once again wrestling with the fact that I have no legitimate reason to purchase new pens and lined paper.

This time of year always seems to leave me nostalgic for a time when the Tuesday after labour day actually meant something. To me it meant getting to see friends you haven’t seen in awhile, it meant bologna and mustard sandwiches, and it meant the opportunity to learn new things. While the point in my life where I lust after bologna sandwiches may have passed, there’s something to be said about being excited about trying new things and having new and relevant experiences.
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Posts About Nothing – Vol. 28

by Jacey on August 25, 2015

Peaches and Cream Pie

1. This happened yesterday. Peaches and cream pie. Gavin and I are horrifyingly close to taking down this whole pie down in less than 24 hours. Zero self control up in this house.

2. I’m suddenly realizing how much I talk about food.
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Posts About Nothing – Vol. 27

by Jacey on August 6, 2015

Ontario Peaches1. Organizing seating charts is something I would not wish on my worst enemy. But seriously. This shit will drive you crazy. I keep working on other things and coming back to it and hoping the answer will reveal itself. Kill me meow.

2. You guys. I’m addicted to my soda stream. I was gifted it at my bridal shower and I’ve been streaming ever since. I kind of want to bring it to work with me but I think that it may be a bit out of place next to the toaster that only toasts when it feels like it. Who needs a functioning toaster when you have carbonated water, am I right?

3. Speaking of unnecessary kitchen appliances at work, I brought my egg cooker to work yesterday. It was marvelous. I do not regret it.
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Posts About Nothing – Vol. 26

by Jacey on July 15, 2015

photobooth in paris1. In one month I will be marrying this guy. Still. Hasn’t. Hit. Me.

2. I’m officially 100 years old. I miss the days when you called somewhere and you got to speak to a human. It took me 15 minutes to get through to a person on the phone the other day. After listening to about a zillion options, none of which seemed to apply to me, I finally got to speak to a real live human being. Who helped me in 2 minutes. Flat.
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Posts About Nothing – Vol. 25

by Jacey on June 1, 2015

egg shells 1. You guys, I got my Tetanus shot the other day. It hurt like a bitch. And not the actual needle part, that part was fine. What hurt was the resultant bruising I had for 3 days. What’s up with that.

2. A couple weeks ago I ate an entire bag of popcorn on the way home from the store. I feel I must apologize to the other drivers in the city of Ottawa who were forced to witness the spectacle that was me eating popcorn. I know you did not sign-up to see me double-fist my popcorn filled mitts into my piehole, nor did you need to see me lick my fingers and wipe them on my car seat. For that, I am sorry. I’m going to go ahead and pin this one on Homesense and the very strategic placement of delicious snacks and other things I absolutely do not need in the line for the cash register. You win this round Homesense.
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Posts About Nothing – Vol. 24

by Jacey on May 5, 2015

roasted strawberry milkshake1. So Gavin and I have become milkshake addicts. We found this place not too far from our house that makes the most delicious milkshakes. When How Sweet Eats posted about a Roasted Strawberry Milkshake a couple weeks ago I was pretty sure it was going to blow my mouth off with how good it was. Instead of using vanilla ice cream, I decided to kick it up a notch and make the Buttermilk Ice Cream from the Sweet Cream and Sugar Cones cookbook. I completely blended the ice cream, roasted berries, and milk because unlike some creeps I know, mushy strawberries are not my jam. I then sat on the couch watching The Mindy Project and cried into my milkshake because I had never tasted anything so good.

2. Funny story about that photo. I had enough leftover ice cream and roasted berries for one more round of shakes. I really wanted to take a picture of it though, so Gavin was denied round two for several days while I waited for the lighting to be right. I’m a crazy woman. He still wants to marry me though, so the joke’s on him.
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Posts About Nothing – Vol. 23

by Jacey on April 28, 2015

Duke and Della1. Duke has a new friend and it’s the cutest thing ever. Meet Della, our neighbours’ new puppy. She looks like the smallest thing I have ever seen next to Duke, who has grown to a monstrous size. They play for hours and I can’t even handle it. Duke rolls onto his back and lets her climb all over him and then they chase each other around all afternoon. I literally spend hours watching them and giggling to myself.

2. Can you even believe that fanny packs are back in. I mean I haven’t actually seen one in the flesh on a real live human being, but they’ve been popping up on the runways and now I’m seeing them in stores. Fashion is so 90s right now I can’t even handle it.
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